Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drake has all the answers
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
