'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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