She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She even gives head with a lisp.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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