Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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