They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm at about main and main street
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
