So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize