The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
