You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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