she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize