Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
vagina is talking i cant
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
