VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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