I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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