you guys were way drunker than both of me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
