Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can't turn off my feet"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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