dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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