You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
