I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
