I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
