I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
