A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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