True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
