Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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