The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
