I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
