Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
