My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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