remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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