i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
