You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
