This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
