Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
