Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
