I CAN MOONWALK!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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