last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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