Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
