The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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