Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
whose parrot is this?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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