# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
