Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
