Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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