Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
