yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
