Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
