the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
