I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
