Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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