sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
