Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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