then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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