I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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