my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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