Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
