You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
