just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
