What a fucking waste of an outfit
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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