Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
