His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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