1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
