My first STD was from a foam party
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
