Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i think i just lost a toe
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
