but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
